Laugh at Kian

Kians Problematic Wrist

2006-03-27T21:17:00.000+08:00

Ok people.. Kian recently tore his wrist ligament doing dunno what.. Uh hrm.. HIs RIGHT hand somemore.. So.. he had to go for physio. So in his last session of physio me and stix went with him to accompany him. Then after his physio we went to meet up with the rest of the gang at cine. Kian then told us how physio is done on him. In his exact words : " You know what they do? First they heat it." ( Pointing at his wrist ) " Then they cool it." o.O We were all like o.O Okay...

So during dinner kian announced he was going for judo training tmr. Linus then advised him not to go as his wrist just recovered. But no.. he refused to listen. He was adament that he was ok and ignored our advice. So we had to choice but to let him go. Guess what. The next week, when we asked kian to go for breaking (breakdancing) session at linus's house, guess what he said. " cannot.. My wrist injured, the doctor say if i do exercise it will not heal..." Smart. Thats what u get for not listening to us kian.

Joseph

Judoka Kian

2006-03-21T18:36:00.000+08:00

ok Peeps. for those who do not know.. kian is officially part of cjc judo.. he joined them in a bid to lose weight and get fit.

If u refer to the previous post.. u will know that we went to linus house to breakdance dat day but this was what happened when me and zhi wei went back to sji to meet kian after his training to go to linus's house.

At the bustop we met kian and he was bragging that during the days training he did the best throw among the people in judo. So we were like sure not... come show us how u throw.. So he was like " Fine. Come joseph. I show u. Dun worry i will grab u one.. wun fall down one.. i surely will hold u one la.. " I was of course sceptical " sure not.. l8er i fall down how? u treat me dinner ah if i fall.. " " aiya ok ok .. wun fall one.. "

the next thing i knew he grabbed the scruff of my shirt and i fell to the floor with a loud thud. Looking up i saw kians fat ass frame falling down on me!!! Owwwww. Yes ppl.. kian fell on me after failing to hold me. The worst part was he took 5 minutes to pick his ass of me and get up. And he didnt even apologise and blamed me for the fall. Thx a lot la. He being fat doesnt feel a thing but im so thin lor. wa kao. Moral of the incident? Dun trust kian even if he promises to
treat u if anything wrong happens cuz in the end i paid for my own dinner.

Joseph

Kian's Workout

2006-03-21T17:40:00.000+08:00

we were breakdancing in the gym at linus' house. kian wanted to show us some judo moves and in the process he hurt some ppl. lol. then kian decided to try some acrobatic or wadeva he was trying to do. joseph became the victim of his "acrobatic" act. and the best part is.... we haf a video! the first part may be a bit bad and pixelized, but it's the later part of the video that is the entertainment.

enjoy!

Click here for Video!

What happens when Kian gets HIGH!

2006-03-17T08:30:00.000+08:00

ok. yesterday, we went out with kian again. and yes, kian never fails to amuse us. and the best thing is, this time, we have a pic and a video to prove it. on the bus, kian did sumthn real retarded. let's take a look.

that's kian wearing the earphone the other way around. how retarded is dat! well... dat's not the worst. wait till u check this out.

The Video of Kian going HIGH!

enjoy!

zixiang

Stalk Him

2006-03-08T19:07:00.000+08:00

Ok ppl. Update on Kians happenings in his life now.

Full Name : Kay Lim Kian Long
Nicknames : Kian / Kay / Ma Long Square Head / Frankenstein ( check out his new hair style )
Pri School : De La Salle Primary Class 6A ( Smartest class somemore... EM1 leh. now dunno what happen to him. )
Sec School : SJI ( 109 / 209 / 308 / 408 2005 )
JC : CJC ( scored 14 pts for his O s )

Misc : Self professed Dr Love and boasts that he knows everything and anything about the opposite sex and how to Jio girls. How come he doesnt have a girlfren no one knows why... maybe he cant .. uh hmm. Better not go there. =P

New Blog at www.kian89.blogspot.com which he promises to update frequently but i doubt he will....

Info provided by ur ever friendly Blog Master Joseph =)

OMG Ew. Shower Mishap.

2006-03-05T19:16:00.000+08:00

This incident happened like last year during our march leadership training camp. So as we were all guys, we were showering together after dinner. Kian was showering the furthest from the drainage hole with Linus next to him (unfortunately). So in the midst of showering.. what happened was that linus noticed that the water coming from Kian was stained yellowish in colour.. OMG OMG he found out that Kian was peeing in the freaking shower !! He immediately shouted to us and we were like " Fuck u kian what the hell. " so we quickly ran away as we did not want to be bathing in his urine.

What worsened the situation was that the drainage wasnt working and so the whole place was flooded. With Kians pee. As he was located the furthest from the drainage hole, all his pee would flow to us. YUCK. The worse thing was, he didnt even move away. He just continued like nothing happened standing in the flooded area full of his pee and continues to bath. So next time if u wonder why kian still smells so bad after a shower... now u know.

Joseph

Splish Splosh!!

2006-03-04T00:49:00.000+08:00

At around 1030 pm tonite, me stix and kian met darrick and ray wong at al azhar along bukit timah road area for supper. So we ordered food n drinks and began to talk cock while waiting for our food.

Kian ordered an ice mocca to drink. So while we were chatting happily, i noticed kian was stirring the mocca vigorously with the straw without holding the cup. The next thing i noticed was that the cup suddenly dissappeared from on the table and reappeared on kians lap with half of the mocca spilt on kians lap. What did he do? Sit there stunned still clutching the straw staring in amazement at the mocca seeping into his pants. Only when darrick told him to stand did he start to move. By then most of his pants n underpants were mocca soaked. We all had a good laugh and criticised kian for stirring something with out holding it with the other hand. Even ray wong was laughing at him ! Hai.. What to do. We had to resort to asking the shop owners for toilet cleaners to clean up kians mess. What can i say but that kian always leaves a trail of destruction behind him where ever he goes....

Joseph

Kian's final destination

2006-03-01T12:45:00.000+08:00

ok. on the same day as darrick's bdae, kian and the rest of us went out to watch final destination 3 in the afternoon. this entry wouldnt be about something kian did, but it can give u some insight into kian's weird mind. so, final destination 3 is a very morbid and gory show. and kian pronounces gory and "gary". lol. "the show very gary!" worse still, while watching the show, and even after the show, kian was smiling to himself. as ppl burnt to death, got their heads crushed, he was.... .SMILING. wtf!!! and after the movie, as we were commenting on it, kian suddenly decided to give his own witty comments. there was a scene when a guy's head was crushed and splattered by two weights coming down, one on each side of his head. kian decided to give a very supposedly intelligent comment. "the guy's head got squashed and exploded.. kana squashed that time look like a WATERMELON!" the rest of us could just go "riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite". well well, kian's imagination. clearly working at sheng shiong can mess up ur mind. next thing u noe, he's comparing you to guava or jackfruits. i guess watching such "gary" movies with kian can rilli turn out to be..... not that "gary".

Twitching?

2006-02-26T11:07:00.000+08:00

Ok for those who still dun noe.. Kian is an avid arcade gamer.. so we usually go arcade together. Last night we went to fish n co to celebrate Darricks B'day (YAY!!) before heading to paradiz centre where Kian suggested to play arcade.

So we went to play. How weird it is dat we never noticed it before that kian has a weird problem when playing tekken. ( tekken = arcade fighting game u noobs ) So me and Chee Kian and ZW and eugene chum were watching kian try his best in trying to beat the stages in tekken. When Chee Kian suddenly pointed out to me that Kians is constantly muttering something when playin the game! so i was like really.. then i looked and instantly started laughing... kian was actually like muttering stuff as he was playing with the occasional mouth twitching !!! Im serious.. u have to see it to believe it.. its hell funny.. We immediately notified the rest of the ppl there and we were all soon laughing so hard at kian while he was playing but he still did not know why we were rofl at him for.. so after the game.. i paid for him to play another round and we all got to laugh again !!! Chee Kian was like " i know what hes saying.. " I want to kill you.. I want to kill you.. I want to kill you.. " " HAHAHA

So after kian lost he was like strangling me and forcing me to tell him wad was the joke.. So being the nice guy that i am i told him and he was like " really meh? " and then he blamed it on something else that i forgot ( sorry my fault =) )

So the next time u happen to be in an arcade with kian.. my advice is to pay for him to play a game of tekken and u will find it worth your money when u get a good laugh out of it =P

Joseph

Kian and the ice cream man!

2006-02-26T10:35:00.000+08:00

kian loves ice cream. i guess u shud already have read the one abt kian eating all of joseph's new tub of ice cream. well.. we at LAK decided to teach kian a lesson. Never eat too much ice cream.. or perhaps.. be careful wad u wish for. we brought kian to the turkish ice cream at far east. hoho. thoe of u who noe wad happens there when u buy an ice cream, u shud be able to understand this better.

so kian ordered a vanilla ice cream. and as usual.. kian tried to sound smart and tried to slang. "give me a VARRRNEEELAR ice cweeam." and what happens here is dat the ice cream man would play tricks on the customer. kian.. being the idiot he is.. kept trying to grap the ice cream cone............................ when the ice cream cone wasnt even there! and then he went "eh? how come like dat?"... and then we all just burst out laughing. like duh kian.... u cant grab the cone if it isnt there! oh well. i guess we can all just give kian some credit.. for trying so hard to get wad he craves for. (=

tune in for more LAK activities.. kian is no longer working at seng shiong.. gives him more time to hang out with us and more opportunities for LAK incidents. =P

zixiang

Ah pek ah pek ah pek !!!

2006-02-25T09:50:00.000+08:00

Ok.. to all LAK visitors a huge SORRY !!! For not updating regularly.. i guess adapting to JC life has made us busy lately and having less time to laugh at kian..

Ok heres what happened last week. The usual gang of us were like walking down town towards PS and we were talking the usual cock along the way. The street was quite deserted as it was relatively early in the morning. So we were talking bout smth (dun rmb wad it was) but then Kian started going Ah pek! Ah pek ah pek ah pek... Very loudly. V-E-R-Y loudly. Ah pek ah pek ah pek Ah pek ah pek ah pek Ah pek ah pek ah pek.. On and on very quickly n loudly. guess wad. The indian family in front of us turned around and stared at kian for like 10 seconds. Kian being the coward he is immediately stopped doing Ah pek ah pek ah pek and shut up and tried his very best to act innocent. When the indian family stopped looking he started up again. "Ah pek ah pek ah pek" Then they turned around again and stared. This time they started walking away from Kian at an increased pace trying to escape from Kian ! Then we burst out laughing and the indian family actually walked as fast as they could while pushing a baby stroller away from kian... What can i say.. Going out with kian is never boring..

Joseph

Kian redeems himself !!!

2006-02-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

For those who dun noe.. we had sorta a "reunion" dinner for the sjabbers at zhi weis house on tuesday la.. then we were in his room and they were watching cinderella story while me kian and zhi wei decided to gamble on black jack.

I was the banker and i was on a roll soon.. kian basically lost all the money he had from his ang pows and he had to open the ang pow zhi wei's mum gave him to pay up.. Zhi wei also suffered losses to my pro-ness =). When kian was out of coins and 2 dollar notes to pay up.. he decided to play big. ( if u r wondering y he did not stop until he had no more 2 dollar notes.. refer to the " Kian at the Arcade post" ) SO. He smashed u five dollar note onto the floor and declared a show hand and this was all he had left. ( He said that too for the last 3 turns ) So i was like WAAA.. FREE MONEY. So we played. Guess what. Kian managed to pull of exactly 21 points with 5 cards. i had to pay him 10 bucks. Ouch. Then zhi wei like. Wow. Good job. *shakes kians hand* Then kian was like hahaha.. come again. LAst round another five bucks. Zhi wei was like. U better go now before u lose everything u just won !!! Kian was adament and refused to listen. In the end he won and i had to pay another 5 bucks. yeesh

BUT i did not lose any money that night. Most of the money i won at the start went back to kian so in the end zhi wei made a loss !!! yay... Kian won zhi wei this round !!! The one and only time he can do so cuz lady luck was smiling on him =)

Joseph

Plans for the future..

2006-01-29T07:57:00.000+08:00

Hey sorry for not updating for quite long... things have been quite mundane as Kian is busy at work and CNY coming up.. Aniwaez we at LAK are planning smth.. so keep ur eyes peeled and dont blink or ull miss it =)

Joseph

Dumb Fuck Question...

2006-01-23T20:41:00.000+08:00

On MSN tonite... Kian asked me a fucking stupid question.

Kian : " Is your school full? "
Me : " yes. quite full "
Kian : " Then how ppl like us get in ar? "
( regarding how ppl like him who got 20 over pts cannot get into a JC for first 3 mths. )
Me : " Ppl leave la "
Kian : " but only a little right.. "
Me : " HOW THE FUCK I KNOW ?!?!?! "

Geez... a few more questions like that and i swear im going to bang my head on the wall...

Joseph

Message to Kian

2006-01-21T18:48:00.000+08:00

Kian thx for finally returning stix his 7 bucks !!! YAY !!! Well actually Kian had to pay 8 bucks cuz stix refused to return him 3 bucks in change when kian handed a 10$ note to repay his long awaited debt.. so he had to beg stix to return him 2 bucks..

Joseph

Blooper 9: Kian the mascot

2006-01-21T18:44:00.000+08:00

This is about the time when kian was still in sji. He was in the house of Marcian which is the house whose colour is green. So being Kian he voluntered to be the house mascot during the annual cheering compeitition.. So on the day itself, he turned up in a huge green chicken costume !!! Wahaha. What a sight. Mascots are supposed to be very on rite? Moving about and interacting with all the ppl.. Well not for Kian. He practically stoned there the whole time. Only waving back to ppl once in a long time. Dunno whether is he lazy or cannot lift his arm up in the costume.. No prizes for guessing which house lost the cheering competition that year when Kian was the mascot...

Joseph

Message to Kian

2006-01-16T18:52:00.000+08:00

TO KIAN, THIS IS TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU STILL OWE ME 7 BUCKS!

you see, we normally have a problem of Kian borrowing money either for food, the arcade or in my case, a movie. sometimes, the debt remains uncleared for a very long period of time. i've been waiting for my seven bucks for 3 weeks. so much abt ending the new year without any worries, unfinished business and uncleared debts!

i recently had a chance to get back that seven bucks. unfortunately, Kian splurged in all in the arcade. received a call from Joseph telling me that Kian wasted the seven bucks he was supposed to return me. refer to the entry on how Kian depletes his money almost instantly in the arcade. i'm beginning to seriously doubt that that money is ever gonna find its way back into my wallet. Joseph told Kian to talk to me that day, but Kian didn't want to cos he didn't have the money. he also tried to evade payment. when invited to go to the gym with me and Joseph, he "graciously" declined. "i dun wanna go cos i'm very tired. and also cos i dun wanna pay 7 bucks." lol. oh well, i shall hunt Kian down if i have to.

7 bucks, here i come!

Zixiang

Tip : Why you should not stand next to Kian in public

2006-01-14T18:36:00.000+08:00

Alrite... why u should not stand next to Kian in public?? Well... the reason is basically cuz he embarasses everyone around him. How, you may ask well, as u all noe Kian has a rather large mouth and he tends to shoot it off absent mindedly.

Kian will break out in song suddenly with no warning at all. One of his favourite lines are " yo yo yo tell me what you want what you really really want and ill tell you what i want what i really really want !!" So if u happen to be standing next to him in a crowded bus and he starts singing ( or rather attempts to ) basically your whole life is ruined i tell u. Thx to him, many of our lives have been totally destroyed and we are shamed to go out anymore =(. So let this serve as a warning to all u ppl to becareful of Kian !!!

Here is another example of how he embarrassed himself this time. Kian and our gang were walking from somerset mrt to meridien one day and outside John Little the specialist shopping centre there was a music video of the pussycat dolls singing the song "don't cha" playing on the huge LCD screen across the road. For those who do not know, that is Kian's favourite song. So when he spotted his favourite song playing he could'nt help but start to dance and sing horribly with the hand actions. And guess what. He was standing directly in front of a guy giving out flyers and doing the hand actions. The guy was staring at Kian with a peculiar look while Kian was oblivious and continued to dance n sing at the top of his lungs. When Kian finally noticed that, he ran away as fast as his pudgy legs could carry him !!!

Joseph

Blooper 8 : Kian the breakdancing pro

2006-01-14T18:10:00.000+08:00

This one is about the time when we were still NCOs at SJAB organising the March leadership training camp for our juniors..

So... We were all in a classroom relaxing after a days hard work at planning for the arrival of the juniors the next day. Michael had brought his mp3 player and zhi wei had an amp so we had loud music going on. The music made Kian HIGH and he started to sing and dance. While the whole room was watching andlaughing at him, he suddenly stopped and knelt down. He put both his hands on the ground and proceeded to lower his head to the floor in a futile attempt to breakdance and do a babyfreeze. All we saw was his head going down slowly and suddenly we heard a loud THUMP !!! Kians gigantic head had connected with the floor with astounding force ( probably brought about by his own huge head ) . Ow. We all broke out in laughter at him as he unabashedly got to his feet and started going "yo yo yo!" What a night it was.....

Joseph

Blooper 7: Tennis Net Trouble

2006-01-10T17:40:00.000+08:00

This would probably be so unbelievable, however, our dear friend Kian has succeeded in breaking records once again. It was one faithful day that myself, Zhi Wei, Joseph, Michael and of cos, Kian, decided on playing tennis. Michael booked a tennis court at his condo for us to play.

We were pretty surprised as Kian had not done anything stupid for the entire day. Things got a bit mundane as there was no comic relief. Just as we were about to end our last tennis game, Joseph, who was sitting on the tennis net (the tennis net is like super tight and u can sit on it without breaking it or causing it to sag much), had called Kian to sit on the net too. To our horror, as Kian lowered his heavyweight ass onto the net, it broke. After we tried inspecting it and tried to fix it, we found out that Kian had bent the hinges at the poles holding the net up. The supposedly un-sag-gable net was now lying down on the ground.

A frantic Michael was left.. well.. frantic, as he was figuring out what to do. However, we came up with a really really stupid excuse to tell the gsecurity guard. The excuse was that Kian was running towards the ball when he slipped and fell atop the net. The guard was pretty hilarious as he was joking about Kian's "elephant strength". Perhaps he was referring to the resemblence between Kian and elephants (large and slow). However, thanks to the corny excuse, Michael didn't need to pay for the damage and Kian wouldn't be paying Michael money for the rest of his life. So here's a little warning, if you weigh 50kg and you can sit on something, it doesn't mean Kian can do so too.

Zixiang

Blooper 6: Soccer Star Kian

2006-01-10T11:45:00.000+08:00

Kian has had many terrible encounters whilst playing soccer. Many of us would have remembered how Kian scored a mighty own goal during recreation on an SJAB training day. We stood in awe as Kian aerobatically swung his huge legs at the ball and missed and then as his mighty leg returned to it's original osition, it backheeled the ball into the goal. Yes, you would have guessed by now, Kian celebrated. He applauded himself for being so skillful while many of him looked at him, trying hard not to burst out in laughter.

We might then remember the time when Kian was really hyped up about soccer. As the ball rolled towards Kian, he released his elephant strength and powered a kick at the soccer ball. Luckily for many of us, the ball never managed to travel straight, it went up and away instead. We were left standing around the street soccer court, arms crossed as we waited for Kian to retrieve the ball which landed outside SJI. Kian's bad soccer experiences don't stop here.

We now learn more about Kian and his destructive soccer skills. A few of us met up for a soccer game during the holidays. Kian, always being hyped up about soccer, once again decided to strike the ball with his giant feet. He got lucky this time as the ball went forward. Forward at Linus's face. A quick reflex action by Linus saved him from the unthinkable. A soccer ball powered to the face by Kian can be extremely destructive. We thought we had seen the last of Kian's "great" soccer skills, until he tried to do a header. Or did he? Linus crossed a ball to Zhi Wei, but Kian tried to intercept it with a header, or a facer. One would usually duck when the bal is going at ur face, Kian however tries to use his face to head the ball away. The other details wouldn't be necessary. At least now you know what to watch out for when playing a game of soccer with Kian.

Zixiang

Tip : What not to do when watching a movie with Kian

2006-01-09T17:42:00.000+08:00

Catching a movie is supposed to be relaxing and enjoyable. However with Kian around, this proves not to be the case. NEVER sit next to Kian during a movie. The reason simply being that he being a dim wit can never comprehend the movie completely and every 3 minutes or so inquires about whats happening in the movie to the unfortunate person next to him. Sitting next to him spoils ur whole movie experience as you find u are unable to concentrate and enjoy the movie without Kian disrupting u with the most idiotic of questions. An example would be " Why why liddat ar??" or " Orhh.. that guy is bad hor.. but why why he do this arh??'' We at LAK feel that to make the money that everyone spends catching a movie worthwhile Kian must be made to sit at least 2 row of seats away so he will not be able to ask dumb questions !!!

Joseph

Kian's New Name

2006-01-08T23:22:00.000+08:00

For the benefit of those of you who do not know how Kay Lim Kian Long came about, I shall enlighten you. During the holidays, Joseph was going to get confirmed and chose his christian name to be Constantine. When he told Kian, Kian said he also wanted another name so he began thinking about one. After going through the many suggestions we gave him, he finally decided on the name Kay. On a last note, the pronounciation of Kay is not Kay, its Kaaaaaaayyyyy. So, now you know.

Zhiwei

Tip : What not to do when eating with Kian.

2006-01-08T17:26:00.000+08:00

As u all know our dearest friend Mr Kian has a bottomless pit dat can never be satisfied. [AKA his stomach] So.. here is tip 1 !! Tip 1 : NEVER EVER let Kian share a meal with you. I repeat. NEVER EVER let Kian share a meal with u. Other than the fact that most of the food goes into the bottomless pit of his and u get whats left , the food sometimes mysteriously dissappears. Let me give u an example. We were catching King Kong at cine with the usual ppl and i made the big mistake of sharing a Burger King meal with him. So we bought a drink , fries and 2 burgers. Kian ordered and kept the food to smuggle into the cinema. When the show began Kian started to eat his burger. When i inquired about mine, I found out that my burger was m-i-s-s-i-n-g. My burger was no more. Kian claimed he never touched my burger and he claimed the counter staff at BK did not give him my burger. Somehow i doubt that. So for the whole 3 hr + movie I was starving. Kian however was enjoying his burger and slurping up the coke as well. So i had to satisfy myself with the fries that Kian "graciously" gave me to make up for my lost burger. I learnt my lesson the hard way and I hope that u will keep in mind NEVER EVER to let Kian share a meal with you.

Joseph

Blooper 5: Kian at the Arcade

2006-01-07T23:12:00.000+08:00

I'm sure all of you have gone to the arcade before. As a group, me, zixiang, joseph and of cos Kian, went to the arcade, namely the X Zone at Lot 1, quite alot during the last few months. For the benefit of those who are not farmiliar with the arcade, it uses a Tapz card. It allows you to convert cold hard cash into virtual credits which can then be used to play in the arcade. After further thought, I have concluded that this move was taken to increase the amount of money people spent at the arcade. Let me explain, when you do not physically see and touch your money, you are not fully aware of how much you are actually spending. As such, $100 and $0.50 look and feel the same. The result is a person who will unknowingly spend all the credits at the arcade in one shot. One such person is Kian.

I recall the countless times we go into an arcade. Kian will top up his card and proceed to play the Tekken 5 machine. Relying on luck to win results in flucuating win/lose streaks. Kian is never satisfied with losing and thus, will always play again and again. Often, he spends ALL his money on the machine because he just taps and taps and taps until there is NOTHING left in his card. When he realizes he has no money, he will finally stand up and let others play. However, he will occasionally ask for free credits from the rest of us.

Another incident took place at the FindIt machine. The game where there are 2 photos and you have to find the 5 differences between them. Once, while we were on our way out of the arcade, we came across a machine with 6 credits in it. While playin our last credit, our friend Kian, ended our game in just 1 second. He decided that he had found the difference and proceed to press it. However, due to some unfortunate problem, he pressed the wrong area and that resulted in a time penalty. Kian, benig the stubborn mule that he is, then continued to press it 2-3times. Our game ended, just like that, in under a second. All our lifelines were still around but our game was over, thanks to Kian. So learn from this and be careful when playing with Kian.

Zhiwei

Blooper 4: Kian's Menu

2006-01-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

After going out with Kian so many times, eating so many lunches, i am pretty convinced he has his own menu. Oh yes, his own menu. whatever the foodstall, whatever the place, he seems to have his own menu. This was especially significant one day when eating at Burger King. We were all walking around Cine and we decided on lunching at BK. As the rest of us ordered our lunch, we came back with pretty small drinks. Joseph upsized his drink and the cup just looked taller. To our surprise, when Kian returned, we saw a taller and fatter cup. It was HUGE. So we were joking, maybe Kian up up upsized his drink or sumthn. Until we saw his large pool of fries and huge burger. I was totally convinced he orders from a special menu.

Kian's menu might also be very cheap. Till now, Kian owes me 7 dollars for his movie. Yet when it comes to food, money miraculously appears. Either that or he never spends a cent on the Kian menu cos the food is free. Seriously weird.

One then wonders how Kian can fit so much food in his stomach. Here's your answer. We at the Ministry of LAK think that Kian's stomach is a huge bottomless pit, a dark abyss. However, this bottomless pit is periodically emptied and when it does, SO much energy is required that there may be a loss of consiousness.

Zixiang

Blooper 3 : Coin in Soup

2006-01-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

The next story will be a vey short one. Once, while eating at some Japanese restruant at the the basement on Cineleisure, our dear friend Kian was asking Joseph for money when he dropped his 50cent coin into the bowl of miso soup that was right between them. Kian, being Kian, used the chopsticks and attempted to push the coin out the bowl. It was dumb. After that, he used the chopsticks to place the coin on a piece of tissue paper, then kept the coin as if nothing happened.

So, just a reminder, next time when you go out with Kian and you have left him alone with the soup, do be careful and double check whether he has dropped a coin or any other objects into your soup.

Zhiwei

Blooper 2 : Ice Cream Challenge

2006-01-03T20:44:00.000+08:00

Our next tale about Kian took place at a McDonalds outlet at Jurong East. I'm sure many of you have been to McDonalds and have tried their 50cent ice cream cone. That fateful day, me and Joseph went studying with Kian and were taking an ice cream break at Macs. Imagine our surprise when our dear friend Kian took a mere 2minutes to finish his cone. He gobbled down the cone in 3 bites! So, the 2 of us used the lure of free arcade games and challenged Kian to eat a cone in 10seconds. We even volunteered to pay for the cone. When Kian returned with his free cone, we started the challenge. What took place in the next second will stay itched in my memory forever. Kian opened his mouth and finish the top of the cone in 1 mouth. One second the ice cream was in the cone, melting in the blistering heat. The next it was in Kian's mouth, giving him a brain freeze. Once he did that, the 2 of us bursted out in laughter, causing Kian to laugh. This obviously resulted in him losing the challenge and from then on, Kian has never accepted another free cone ever again.

Those of us who saw that amazing feat still remember it till this day and will for many more to come. So, next time, if you happen to go out with Kian, maybe catch a movie, buy him a cone and challenge him to finish it in 10seconds. We guarentee it will bring you laughs. On another note, please do not attempt to finish your cone in 10seconds. It is highly dangerous and should only be done by a professional trained to eat very quickly.

Zhiwei

Blooper 1: Toilet Trouble

2006-01-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

While all of us face our own problems in the restroom, our dear friend Kian, has met up with a very unique ailment. Well, have you ever fainted while excreting? Kian has. Imagine this.. you sit on the potty and suddenly, while shitting, you faint. Possibilities of the cause are perhaps the smell was intoxicating, or maybe the muscles used in excretion were overworked and blood from the brain has been drained to aid in the muscle contractions. Whatever the case, it's getting disgusting imagining what caused the faiting. Here's the best part of the story. Kian was unconscious for a whole half an hour (think about immersing yourself in the "fragrance" for that period of time). Worse still, none of his family members realised! Kian's conclusion was that his family members thought he was taking a bath. Well, we at Ministry of LAK agree. Taking a bath in the overwhelming smell of.. urgh. You get the point.

So we, being very good and innovative friends of Kian, have come up with a solution for his little problem. Step one, Kian must always bring his handphone into the toilet. Step two, if you realise Kian has been in there for too long, call him. If he doesn't regain consciousness from his fainting, break open the toilet door with a ten foot pole, cos i'm sure you (and we) don't share in Kian's idea of perfume.

Official Opening

2005-12-31T23:00:00.000+08:00

We, being very humourous people, want to dedicate this site to our great friend Kay Lim Kian Long (KL)². And here are the people who have made this possible.

Blog Masters: Joseph Lam, Sun Zixiang
Laugh Meter: Cheng Zhi Wei
Editor: Lee Shen Yang
Advertiser: Lee Laurent Roy
Sponsor: Sheng Siong
Executive Committee (Moral Supporters): Linus Lau, Loy Chee Kian, Michael Ng

If you wish to join the Ministry of LAK (Laugh at Kian), please feel free to laugh at Kian, then contact us at josephlzh@hotmail.com or s_t_i_x@hotmail.com.

So now, the LAK Ministry is officially opened! *applause pls*